Raising twins is hard work, but it is equally joyful, fun and rewarding.
Having twins is a conversation starter on its own. For some reason, people find twins fascinating and it’s not uncommon for total strangers to stop you in the street and ask questions or just notice that “You have your hands full!” (like you don’t know!)
Being a twin mum (especially first-time mum) creates challenges that mums of singletons may not face. First of all, you soon experience the feeling of isolation. You don’t really feel that you have many things in common with other mums. Even if they have more than one child, they still don’t have two of them of the same age, with the same needs at the same time. It is also true that twin mums are forced to stay home. The cost of childcare for two babies is so high that unless you had a really good-paying job before becoming pregnant, you can’t afford it. Staying at home (even if you prefer it for your children’s own good) has a huge impact on your life. You may feel that you are slowly going insane. Two people rely on you, so you must take care of yourself to be able to take care of them. However, there is literally no time for yourself!
Things you dreamt of when you imagined yourself as a mum, simply cannot happen. This world is made for singleton mums; “mummy and baby” classes (not our baby signing classes though), supermarket trolleys, and even some shop entrances are not twin-friendly. While other mums look lovely and comfortable carrying their baby in their sling/ baby carrier/ single pram, you are puffing and sweating pushing this double pushchair that was advertised as feather-light (and honestly it felt like this when you tried it at the shop without the twins and half of the house on it).
Going for long walks with my babies and enjoying lunches out was one of the things that I looked forward to. However, it is almost certain that you will need the baby changing facilities at some point (I’m not talking about your own toilet needs- they have to be suppressed until long after you have arrived home). If you have one baby, even if you have your pram with you, you can leave it behind for a couple of minutes until you have finished with that nappy change. But what happens when you have twins? Going to the toilet is not an easy task, as you need to take almost everything with you; obviously, you don’t want to leave baby number two waiting on their own until you are back, or laying on the toilet floor.
Well, being out and about with twins is always a challenge. You soon realise that you are the noisiest people at the restaurant, library, and park, not to mention the epic public meltdowns when they get tired (that’s why at LSC we always highlight the importance of the “Home” sign for when little ones feel tired and overwhelmed).
Chapter “Flying with twins” I remember the first time we flew with our children to Greece; they were just five months old and honestly, it looked like we were moving. It was still April, so lots of things to carry apart from our babies in the car seat carriers and the cabin bags; our coats, scarves etc and those baby blankets that were sweeping the airport floor. Luckily, a lovely couple in their 20s who were on the same flight with us, offered to help. “Yes, please. You could have him”, I said, as I handed them the car seat carrier with my son in it. “Are you crazy? Couldn’t you give them something else to carry?”, asked my mum when I told her about our trip. No, I wasn’t crazy. I was tired. I was exhausted.
I just realised that I haven’t mentioned anything about breastfeeding twins so far. So, if you breastfeed, it looks like you need to strip every time they are hungry (not that I ever cared to be honest!- breastfeeding is the absolute natural thing to do and whoever has a problem with seeing a woman feeding her child needs to reconsider their life values). But stretching yourself in the plane seat or back car seat to feed them both- is it possible? Yes, it is and it hurts.
Well, at the end of the day, as hard and challenging as it is to have twins, you can’t imagine having only one- you simply don’t know how to mother only one child. Your heart explodes with love for these two little people who have been together since day one, growing up, learning and gaining new experiences together and despite their epic fights they love each other so much, that words cannot describe.
P.S.: This is, of course, my side of the story and I totally understand that there are mums of multiples that may read this and think that life with twins is a piece of cake compared to triplets, quadruplets and so on!